Thursday, May 27, 2021

Land of the home

 Mike Hunter, attorney general of Oklahoma, has announced his resignation due to undisclosed "personal matters."  I'll bet I know.

His secret identity is Irish actor Gabriel Byrne.

Brian KKKemp reported to Fox News to explain why Georgia's motto is "No vaccine passports now, no vaccine passports forever!"  In his big windup he said, "It is America, the land of the home and freedom...range."  By now, "Land of the Home" is probably available as an ironic tote bag.

Over to Tennessee, Virginia Brown decided that words are not enough.  Yelling "No vaccine!" she drove her SUV -- why is it always an SUV? -- into a tent in Blount County where health department and National Guard personnel were distributing Satan's microchips.  Oh Virginia, whatever happened to pulling off people's masks and spitting in their faces?  

Did you know that Lee Harvey Oswald and Barack Hussein Obama both lived on the upper East Side of Manhattan?  (325 East 92nd and 339 East 94th respectively.)  It was several decades apart but Greg Kelly thought it worth tweeting about.  I once sat next to Murray Kempton on a crosstown bus.  Where's my Pulitzer?

To paraphrase Maya Angelou, when someone says he's going to kill a lot of people at work, believe him.  Especially when, like Samuel Cassidy, he has a history of violent behavior to his ex-wife and girlfriend.  Also keep an eye out for bomb-building materials and incendiary devices.  Not that it will make much difference.  It happened in San Jose but Gavin Newsom noted, "Somehow this has become routine...Anywhere feels like this happens over and over and over again."  You're not the only one to notice that, governor.  There's probably a book in Vegas on where the next one will occur.

Despite the face-to-face pleas of Capitol police and the family of Brian Sicknick, Mitch McConnell dismissed the insurrection investigation as "extraneous" and ordered asked Republicans to vote against the commission "as a personal favor."  What does he have to hide that we don't already know about?  Joe Manchin says there's "no excuse" for their intransigence, but he's too much of a coward to break the filibuster so he should shut up.  And Jim Clyburn says the House should go ahead and form a commission anyway.  Why?  We know who summoned the mob, incited the mob and reached orgasm watching the mob on his hugest-model-they-make TV in the safety of the White House.  The mob helpfully livestreamed themselves committing hundreds of felonies because they are stupid.  There's no single-bullet theory to nail down.  Stop talking and start convicting.    



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