Thursday, April 01, 2021

Infrastructure Week at last!

 April Fool is a dumb holiday and the Organization will not recognize it.  Or will we?  

It can't be a real Cabinet meeting because it didn't open with a prayer -- of thanksgiving for the privilege of serving the most amazing, magnificent president of all time.  Now I truly believe Biden won.  "An unparalleled opera of oleaginousness" is what David Smith called the first meeting of the Church of Trump four years ago.  Not only do these folks "look like America," they have actual knowledge, often amounting to expertise, about their jobs.  O brave new world, huh?

After decades of inflated defense budgets (here, read about the Flying Swiss Army Knife a/k/a the F-35, which for a trifling $1.7 trillion has the ability to shoot itself down), Joe Biden wants a mere two trillion for public transportation, green energy, housing renovation, free community college, Affordable Care Act subsidies and other stuff that actually benefits people, financed by charging the likes of Bezos and Musk a few billion for the privilege of making their next hundred billion.  It's good for the country, it promises many jobs, and Republicans hate it.  I'm sold.  But I wish Biden had asked for the ten trillion that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wants, then let them whittle it down to five trillion and call it a victory over tax-and-spend radicaliberal corporate communism.  Or whatever.

And to think I was worried there wouldn't be any grade-A free-range stupid to chronicle:

Florida's Most Fragile Ego had to be indulged by implying he threw out a ceremonial first pitch when he didn't.  Or rather, he did -- in a 2004 minor league game in New Jersey (it didn't reach the plate).  It's all part of the Spring Offensive against Dr. Anthony Fauci, who was chosen for that honor last year by the Washington Nationals.  First Peter Navarro treated Fox viewers to a batshit rant in which he called Fauci "the father of the actual virus" who paid the Chinese Communist Party to develop it in a lab.  Even Trump sort of backed away from that on his way to Atlanta to congratulate Brian KKKemp personally on his voter suppression law.  But it was too late:  Equally Batshit Marge had already drawn up two bills on the back of a Waffle House placemat, the "Fire Fauci Act"  and the "We Will Not Comply Act."  Then she rushed to pose for an iron-pumping video at the Congressional Gym, in line with her delusion about becoming speaker like Paul Ryan.  That's entertainment.

Louie Gohmert lost his appeal of the $5,000 fine Mean Nancy imposed when he snuck back onto the House floor from the bathroom to evade metal detectors.  As he quite reasonably pointed out, "There are not even tanks on toilets so someone could hide a gun in them like in the Godfather movie."  Have you tried prying the cover off an air conditioning duct, Congressman?

Speaking of the House floor, Matt Gaetz...nude photos....oh, never mind.  

The Alabama Senate has moved to address the pressing issue of yoga in public schools by continuing a ban imposed in 1993, together with "hypnotic states, guided imagery or meditation."  Any of these satanic practices could lead to Hinduism.  People, I don't make this shit up.

I've read this twice and I still don't understand it.  The rapper known as Lil Nas X evidently took a batch of Nike Air Max 97s and used them to create red and black "Satan Shoes" rumored to contain a drop of human blood.  He sold them all in a minute at $1,018, but then Nike panicked and obtained a TRO to stop delivery of the shoes.  That's right, he was cancelled, yet nobody is accusing the corporation (or the Biden administration) of curtailing his free speech.  Am I wrong in expecting a little consistency?

During earlier epidemics, especially of smallpox, many people were vaccinated against their will.  The Supreme Court said the state had every right to do so.  Something about the "common good."  This was in 1903.  Keep it in mind during the completely predictable "fourth wave" following spring break and Easter/Passover celebrations.  



Blogger Unknown said...

One: is that badge really a thing?
Two: Where can I get one?

6:41 AM  
Blogger Glen Tomkins said...

"Am I wrong in expecting a little consistency?"

Yes, you are wrong, obviously.

Consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but everything we've seen for decades tells us that inconsistency is the pampered pet of Republican minds. To ask them to be consistent is to ask them to betray their deepest and most sacred lack of principles.

7:44 AM  

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