Monday, March 01, 2021

I blame The Onion

It was said that irony died in 1973 when Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize.  Maybe that's true.  I certainly thought some clever prankster was putting us all on when Golden Trump appeared at last weekend's CrapPAC.  But "American ex-pat" Tommy Zegan insists he crafted it in sincere tribute -- and in Mexico -- and delivered it at his own expense.  It's fiberglass painted in Trump's favorite color, and it can be yours for a cool $100,000.  

Another ex-president was just convicted of corruption and sentenced to three years, one of which Nicolas Sarkozy will spend in jail.  Be of good cheer, Cy Vance, it can be done.

Madison Cawthorn is a big fat liar!  He lied about his friend leaving him to die "in a fiery tomb" after crashing the car.  Then he lied about the disability preventing him from taking up an appointment to the Naval Academy (he had already been rejected).  I will never believe anything a Nazi-lover says again, including "I have never done anything sexually inappropriate in my life."

He published a book, he started a podcast, and now Michael Cohen is selling Trump merchandise, sort of.  The hottest item is an orange prison jumpsuit which can be customized with your name, a snip at $59.95.  Of course it's tasteless, but Cohen has been disbarred and Trump probably owes him money.

A year ago Andrew Cuomo was the hero of the covid epidemic; his press conferences were carried on CNN and his apparent command of the situation led many to wonder why we couldn't have a competent president, or at least a sentient one.  Now it appears that he concealed data about deaths in New York nursing homes, and he is also accused of sexually inappropriate behavior to a female journalist.  He's one undocumented nanny away from having to resign.  In politics nothing stands still.

Kristi Noem opened her 2024 presidential campaign by dodging Margaret Brennan's questions about South Dakota's non-response to covid.  She's lucky there was no time to ask about the state's weird anti-drug campaign, whose slogan is...I just can't.  Next time bring the flame-thrower, governor.



1 Comments:

Blogger ZapPow said...

Well, Sarkozy isn't going to jail. He will be under house arrest, with an electronic ankle tag, for one year. If he lose his appeals.

12:11 PM  

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