Friday, February 12, 2021

Year of the Ox

The First Lady just tweeted Lunar New Year greetings.  Am I awake?

Dr. Biden also decorated the White House lawn with hearts for Valentine Day.  Is she being mocked by the Rightzis?  What do you think?

Never mind the Speaker's laptop -- all it contained was one of those boring Powerpoint presentations.  Yesterday we found out there's a second "nuclear football" in the possession of the Vice President, or there was on 1/6.  Infinitely more interesting to whoever Riley June passed it to, had she and her friends dragged it away from the Air Force officer who carried it.  Why was this thing in Pence's proximity?  Maybe because Trump's covid was worse than reported, including significant lung damage.  Not enough to prevent him fomenting seditious mobs, unfortunately.

Josh Hawley's wife Erin wrote an account of the terrifying candlelight vigil held by twenty people outside her house in Vienna, Virginia, complete with baby in arms and husband far away.  The Vienna police say there was no evidence of property damage or trespass, but it's still frightening:  Josh Hawley has reproduced.

A grand jury in Buffalo refused to indict the police who shoved Martin Gugino down and fractured his skull last summer.  This proves that there is no systemic racial bias in the criminal justice system.  He got as much justice as Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray, Philando Castile, Breonna Taylor, Michael Brown and Alton Sterling, apart from not being dead.

As Republican Senators cuddle up a little closer, Nikki Haley opened her 2024 presidential campaign by trying to distance herself from her "friend" Trump.  "He let us down," she told Politico, because apparently she expected more from him, like competence and legality.  

After a decade down here I knew Southerns can't drive on ice but come on, man -- ONE HUNDRED THIRTY VEHICLES?  When this happens in a Blues Brothers movie, nobody dies or even gets hurt.  Fort Worth, you need to purchase a substance called "rock salt."

Can we all agree that Gorilla Glue lives up to its name?  Shit is strong.  Don't put it in your hair.   Don't put it on your face.  If you must clown it up for the social media, please resume dumping ice water on yourself.  Or even used cat litter.  I won't tell you again.

The best thing about the Senate impeachment trial has been the relative lack of time the cable shows have to devote to the antics of Marjorie Taylor Greene but she's finally getting some stick from at least one Republican.  Shaun Holmes, whose son has Down syndrome, objected to her characterization of him and others as "stupid" and "a retard."  She has yet to apologize or retract, of course, because she asked herself What would Donald J. Trump do? but it's a start. 

I had a feeling this would happen, just not during an impeachment trial.  One of Trump's dumber lawyers -- you choose -- just confused Brad Raffensperger with Ben Roethlisberger.  I have the same problem with Wallace Ford and Wallace Reid when I watch old movies.

Short summary of the Trump defense:  He did nothing wrong (FIRST AMENDMENT FREE SPEECH!) because so many other people have used the word "fight" without causing terrible things to happen therefore NOT GUILTY CASE DISMISSED.  Saved you a migraine of a day.

I really thought they would go with "Well, he never said go and kill Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi and all other Democrats and maybe police, where did he say that, show us!"  It's our old friend "Where is the order signed by Hitler, he was shocked to hear Jews were being shot in the millions."  How about "We're going to the Capitol"  -- with that weird upward inflection that sounds like Trump's breaking in a Jerry Lewis tribute act -- "I will be with you" (not physically, of course, I'm going to ascend into the sky like You-Know-Who).  You still don't see it?  And right on cue Hitler fanboy Madison Cawthorn pipes up, "Are we going to impeach Jesus next?"  It's a cult.

Enough.  Guo nian hao and remember to write if you get work.



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