Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Forty-five skiddoo

 Today the secretary of state emerged from his secure location to certify the election of Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock to the Senate, and Sidney Powell dropped her final (?) lawsuit challenging the results of the presidential election.  We can close the books on Georgia.

Other states are more unsettled.  Wyoming, for one, where the Carbon County Republican Party voted to censure the state's sole US Representative Liz Cheney for voting to impeach Trump, after she voted to confirm Joe Biden's victory in the Electoral College.  The Central Committee will probably demand a DNA test to determine if she's really Dick Cheney's daughter or some sort of Democrat changeling.  There's muttering about secession, too, of the kind we get every time a Democrat is elected president.  With its skiing/herding-based economy (49th in GDP) and its population of fewer people than Philadelphia, I'm afraid Wyoming will have to lump it.  

"We used to enter the city like gods; now we sneak in like rats," someone said of the destruction of New York's Penn Station and its replacement with that glorified subway station under a sports venue.  The words seem to resonate as Trump prepares to flee the tire fire he started four years ago.  Like a tire fire, it will smolder for years and foul the lungs of a generation just being born.  Nothing he touched has not been made worse.  In four years, only the reputation of Andrew Johnson has been enhanced.

Trump wants to be sent off the way Lindbergh was greeted in Paris, but it's not shaping up like a joyous occasion.  The temperature at Joint Base Andrews at 8 tomorrow morning will be in the 30s with significant wind.  The emotional temperature can be guessed from the invitation to Anthony Scaramucci, who worked in the White House for what ballplayers call "a cup of coffee" back in 2019.  Like all the other "honored guests" he was entreated to bring up to five friends to make it look like a crowd.  Another no-show will be Mike Pence, allegedly because of the difficult "logistics" of getting him to the Capitol by noon; it's not as if he could be helicoptered. or driven in a lights-and-sirens motorcade.  Or possibly he wants to attend mass with the Bidens at 8:45 like Mitch McConnell, Kevin McCarthy, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.  I wonder if Ted & Lindsey & Josh & Louie will be at the airport.

Gov. Greg Abbott is "incensed" because all National Guard are being vetted for right-wing militia connections, including the ones from Texas.  Nevertheless, two members have been removed from the inauguration security mission for unspecified reasons.  Some, including Keith Olbermann, have called for a virtual inauguration from a secret location, but this would mean sneaking in like rats.  No matter how nerve-wracking, the ceremony must take place in front of the west entrance to the Capitol in the full light of day.  Anything less is surrender to fear and would embolden the Trumpanzees. 

What, we all wonder, will Trump do without all the power and pomp, all the crises he has handled, much more than Nixon's six, probably hundreds?  He's a hopeless workaholic, according to Ainsley Earhardt:  "...No one can argue, he is a worker.  He doesn't drink alcohol, he stays up late at night, he watches every show, he's working -- he got to work immediately."  Then he shares his wisdom with the world, or he did until Big Tech censored him, just like Jesus and Socrates.  Fortunately Trump still has friends in Russia, and they have re-launched Parler under the auspices of DDoS-Guard, whose other clients include the Russian Defense Ministry.  It's just like home!  Eight hours of television, some parling (or whatever verb they settle on), a bucket of chicken and picking out gold fittings for the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library and Omelet Bar -- a full life.  Just keep those marshals and process servers from crossing the moat.

Nineteen hours to go.


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