Wednesday, January 06, 2021


 On the twelfth day of Christmas, the world shifted on its axis.

First the good news:  It appears Georgia has sent two Democrats to the Senate to break the power of evil in the semi-human form of Moscow Mitch.  I admit it -- I cried when I read this, from Senator-elect Raphael Warnock's speech last night:  "Because this is America, the 82-year-old hands that used to pick somebody else's cotton went to the polls and picked her youngest son to be a United States Senator."  I'm just glad his mother lived to see this day.  The other election has not been officially called, but Jon Ossoff has a narrow lead.  I'm sorry, I have no information on the Public Service Commissioner runoff.

In a related story, Trump's violent supporters are attempting to stage a coup at this hour.  ARMED STANDOFF AT DOOR OF HOUSE FLOOR says the CNN chyron.  Rioters have invaded the Senate chamber and are also on the second floor, where the vice-president's office is.  Mike Pence took advice from the White House counsel and was told he has no power to change the results of the Electoral College, no doubt in the hope that Trump would call off the mob; didn't work, clearly.  Michael Cohen told us a year ago that Trump would not accept electoral defeat and we thought he was just selling books.  

Nearly twenty years after the 9/11 attacks and the creation of a new Department of Homeland Security, there's an astonishing lack of security at the very seat of government.  How are these scumbags not being shot or beaten?  The police don't hesitate to shoot a Black man with his back turned or a Black woman sleeping in her bed.  White skin is magic.  

Trump is solely responsible for this.  Solely.  He started the riot with a typically unhinged rant to his storm trooper wannabes, attacking "weak Republicans," Mike Pence, "Barack Hussein Obama," Brian Kemp, Hunter Biden, Hillary Clinton, the media and Oprah.  Yes, Oprah.  So Giuliani has the "trial by combat" he called for.  Surely he can be arrested, even if they have to wait until January 20 to handcuff Trump.  

We just heard that Merrick Garland will be President Biden's attorney general.  He's coming in with a very full in-box.

Since the first responders are clearly over their heads, Gov. Ralph Northam is sending Virginia state troopers and National Guard to the capital at the request of Mayor Bowser.  Send riot gear and armored personnel carriers, Governor.  Do you have any tanks?

Tweet at 3:13 pm from Agolf Twitler:  "I am asking everyone at the U.S. Capitol to remain peaceful. [!] No violence.  Remember, WE are the Party of Law & Order -- respect the Law and our great men and women in Blue.  Thank you!"  It doesn't seem to be settling them down.  Maybe they're too busy smashing windows and kicking in doors to check their Twitter feeds.  A woman was shot in the chest and carried out on a gurney.  

Senator Josh Hawley, the founder of the feast.

"They are trying to limit our First Amendment rights."  Kevin McCarthy three days ago

"Kevin McCarthy's part of the team."  Mo Brooks two days ago

"What is unfolding is unacceptable and un-American.  It has got to stop."  Kevin McCarthy five minutes ago

"I think he has learned his lesson."  Susan Collins last February voting against impeachment

"The voters, the courts and the states have all spoken...If we overrule them it would damage our republic forever."  Mitch McConnell just before he fled the Senate chamber

"It took 159 years but a mob marching behind a confederate flag has stormed the US Capitol.  They are doing so on Donald Trump's express orders."  tweet from Andrew Feinberg

Trumpanzees chanted "Traitor!" and "Resign!" at Mitt Romney on a flight from Salt Lake City to Washington.  I seem to recall passengers being arrested for less.

In a book to be published next week James Comey says the next attorney general should not prosecute Trump "no matter how compelling the roadmap left" by Robert Mueller or "how powerful the evidence strewn across his history of porn stars and financial fraud."  Because it's all about "fostering the trust of the American people."  If he doesn't regret that today, he's the world's tallest idiot.  How about fostering trust in the rule of law, Jim, currently hanging by a thread?  Fortunately Letitia James, Cyrus Vance, Jr., and Fani Willis are already scheduling grand jury time.

Enough, or should I say basta?  Better late than never a Trumpanzee named Johnson (Blazing Saddles joke somewhere) has identified a new vote-stealing conspiracy theory involving Italy.  Read it.  Have a cannoli.  (Obama is Japanese for "little beach."  I wonder what it means in Italian.)  Relax.  This day will end.  We'll be back tomorrow for more madness.  Count on it.


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