Sunday, August 16, 2020

Double plus unsmart

It's been less than a week, but the misogynoir is in full bloom.  Kamala Harris is not only disqualified despite being born in Oakland, California -- no one has yet disputed that -- but she's "Hillary's girl," "a corrupt and dangerous fraud" and "an opportunistic authoritarian interventionist."  So many big words, all linked up, must amount to something.  Did you know that Wikileaks has already released everything they have, 137 documents?  Must be mainly birthday greetings and recipes because nobody is paying any attention to Assange's Russian propaganda outfit this time.   I'll leave the last word to elegant aphorist Eric Trump:  "Harris was a whorendous pick."  It's a pun!  Because Daddy told him women are basically all tramps, especially the Black ones.

There's really no place to go except to suggest that she's really a man, like Michelle "Big Mike" Obama (because Barack is a Total Gay, everyone knows this) or possibly one of David Icke's shape-shifting lizards.  Why not both?  I'll bet she also wants to "hurt God" because her mother used to take her to a Hindu temple.  And eats baby glands.

It's not a Republican campaign until at least one fictional character has been dragged in.  One of the Trumpettes complained that Kamala Harris sounds like Marge Simpson.  Marge says she's feeling "a little disrespected."  Mrs. Simpson, have you met Murphy Brown? 

We can debate these issues because there is really nothing else to discuss, like where all the mailboxes went or why people keep dying of covid despite this administration's spectacular response like nothing you've ever seen.  Why don't millions of people want to give up their $200-a-week luxurious lifestyles and go back to work?  Why do parents who hate America not want their kids back in school?  Kids are practically immune and you can always have more. 

On the subject of viruses, say hello to Avian Leukosis.  Thanks to the latest contender for Mount Rushmore, you could be encountering it on your plate soon.  It makes tumors grow in chickens and has been shown to cross over into meat processing workers.   The National Chicken Council says it's no big deal because their chickens don't come from China.  Now where's that tweet where Trump demanded Obama's resignation after one American died of Ebola?
"Putin is laughing at Obama," Trump declared when Edward Snowden moved to Russia.  Also he did "tremendous damage" to the United States and should be executed for treason.  Did I say "executed"?  I meant welcomed home.  "A lot of people" are saying he has been treated unfairly, and a pardon may be the solution.  Maybe a parade, made up of all the criminals pardoned by Trump.  I hear Scooter Libby twirls a mean baton.  Did a large check clear, or does Putin just want Snowden out of his guesthouse?  We may never know.

"There's no evidence of widespread voter fraud," said Jake Tapper on CNN this morning.  Retorted Mark Meadows, "There's no evidence that there's not, either.  That's the definition of fraud."  Yes, without evidence you can be pretty sure of a crime.  But the important thing is, Meadows won't be fired as White House chief of staff for at least twenty-four hours.  It must be exhausting to be that stupid.  No wonder the others quit.


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