Sunday, July 12, 2020

News from all over

Stung by a scalding rap collaboration from Kid Cudi and Eminem, Trump finally put on a mask as he visited Walter Reed hospital to have his meds adjusted.  Dr. Anthony Fauci remarked, "Why didn't I think of that, yo."

LeBron James says he will not wear a "Black Lives Matter" jersey when play resumes because his ideas on social justice cannot be boiled down to a slogan.  The Lakers star faces a two-game suspension for excessive nuance.

Our Clown of the Week is Rep. Glenn Grothman, (R-WI), who was addressing the Wisconsin Republican Convention yesterday (masks optional).  "It's time to talk about Donald John Trump!" he said, but before the hymn of praise could begin, he was racked by a cough that forced him to loosen his tie.  Beat that for a cold opening, Saturday Night Live.  As is customary at Republican events, attendees had to sign a waiver in case of resultant intubation or death.

Pope Francis is "very distressed" that Hagia Sophia is to be converted from a museum back into a mosque, despite the fact that it has not been a Christian church since 1453.  Imagine how the curators and tour guides must feel.

Robert Mueller wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post reminding us that Roger Stone is still a criminal.  In response, Lindsey Graham jumped off Trump's lap and peed on Mueller's leg.  Then there was another empty threat about "forcing" him to testify before the Judiciary Committee only seven months late.

Remember Elaine Duke?  Of course you don't, she was Acting Secretary of Homeland Security between Kelly and the other guy.  She says Trump's response to Hurricane Maria was to ask, "Can we sell the island?  You know, or divest of that asset?"  When informed of this, the people of Puerto Rico with one voice shouted, "Trade us to Denmark for Greenland!  Oh, please!"

You knew it was coming:  the political obituary.  Kristin Urquiza knows exactly who to blame for her father's death at age 65, and their weapons were incompetence and indifference.

One hundred fifty Minneapolis police have filed disability claims since the killing of George Floyd, citing post-traumatic stress disorder.  Not since Heinrich Himmler worried about his SS men being traumatized by having to shoot women and children has there been such a tragedy, for sure.

Remember Walter Palmer, the schmucky dentist who killed Cecil the Lion?  He's at it again.  Junior Trump must have told him the Mongolians will let you shoot anything for the right price.


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