Wednesday, May 27, 2020

The Great Depression

I thought the Census Bureau had its hands full just counting Americans, but they apparently make time to ask about our feelings and who should host the Oscars and issues like that.  This is how we know that a third of the population reports signs of clinical anxiety or depression.  I'm no mental health professional, cod knows, but I wonder if self-diagnosis might be a little imprecise.  Maybe you just got laid off, or watched a particularly depressing Lifetime movie, or ate some bad cottage cheese.  (You can't tell with cottage cheese, it always tastes like compost.)  The doorbell rings and instead of your Thai food or the hand sanitizer you ordered a month ago, it's somebody who wants to collect census information.  How many children still live with you or bring you their laundry?  Do you identify as European, Caucasian, White or Other?  Do you have a nagging sense of non-specific dread?  What do you think, Census Person?

Anyone who is not depressed is not paying attention.

Trump is right!  Voting by mail is liable to fraud.  A postal worker in West Virginia was caught changing party preferences on ballot applications from Democratic to Republican.  Last July a Republican operative in North Carolina was charged with fraud in a get-out-the-vote move.  I'm confused -- it sounds like Joe Biden should be the one complaining about corruption here.

Instead, Trump is still shit-raging about all the illegal ballots being illegally sent out to illegals in California (which he lost bigly), only this time there's pushback.  Twitter still lacks the gumption to close his account, or even that of his lapdog Rubio, but it does append a link inviting readers to "Get the facts about mail-in ballots."  The nerve!  Treating a documented liar like a documented liar.  Naturally he's even more apoplectic about that, so expect an added link that says something like "Get the facts about the First Amendment."  I think Trump should boycott Twitter.  That would show them.

As we close in on 100,000 dead, the CDC has more good news:  the Covid antibody test is wrong about half the time.  If only we knew which half.

When does Trump need a "very full report" instead of sharing what his "gut" tells him?  When reporters ask him about the police murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis.  The mayor dismissed four officers and called for at least one to be charged, but Trump's attitude can be understood from this gem in 2017, a speech calling on police to "not be too nice" with suspects, ha ha.  We learned today that Mr. Floyd was arrested for resembling someone who may have passed a counterfeit bill in a deli, so not really a desperate character.  Maybe black people should just stop looking like one another, which confuses the police.  A demonstration last night in Minneapolis was broken up with stun grenades and tear gas, just as the armed uprisings of white covidiots in Lansing were not.

Depressed yet?  Here's another one for Minnesota:  Trump is pushing the MyPillow guy to run for governor in 2022.  Two words to make the laughter die in your mouth:  Jesse Ventura.

India and China have moved troops to their Himalayan border.  This posturing by two nuclear powers is the ninth most-read story in the Guardian, well behind a review of a Netflix series about Jeffrey Epstein.

The newest Senator Kelly Loeffler will not be investigated any further by the Justice Department for insider trading.  Or to put that in Rightzish, she has been totally exonerated.  The joyous news came just as her husband Jeff Sprecher's million dollar check to America First Action (Trump) cleared.  As I recall, the Constitution spells out two impeachable offenses (treason and bribery) and leaves the rest (high crimes and misdemeanors) to the imagination.  Covered!

Larry Kramer, playwright and activist in the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, has died of pneumonia at 84.  Who will be the Kramer of covid?  He wanted people to get angry about needless suffering and death.  I'm angry enough to make a suggestion.  Every fool who won't wear a mask and even attacks people who do needs an indelible mark -- a tattoo, a microchip -- so he won't get a ventilator when the time comes.  For you, Larry.

We all know who the real victim of this global pandemic is, and it is Donald J. Trump.  Everyone let him down, even Melania.  Read Gabriel Sherman and --- get angry.  Anger is better than depression.  Larry Kramer taught us that.  Why didn't the Census ask if we're angry?
















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