Tuesday, February 18, 2020

A mighty wind

Paula White, who operates her own religion company when she isn't serving as Trump's chaplain (you say gibberish, they say speaking in tongues), wants the faithful to pay her before they pay their utility bills.  Otherwise, this template for an SNL sketch warns, Skygod will become wrathful and stop curing their cancers and such.  White is on record as a supporter of abortion -- at least, spontaneous abortion for "satanic" embryos -- and a foe of "strange winds" sent to harm the Greatest of All Possible Presidents.  It's not clear if this is identical with the "big wind" Trump blames for blowing over sections of WALL, but why not?

Trump has a troubled history with the wind.  It powers windmills, which cause cancer.  It brings devastation to Puerto Rico solely to make him look incompetent and racist.  It ignores his order to cause a hurricane in Alabama.  It blows his carefully sculped skull decoration and exposes the border of his orange clown makeup.  People then laugh.  None must laugh!  Paula is right -- wind bad.  Where does Obama live?  The Windy City.  Need I say more?

Still elated from the Miller-Waldman wedding -- he ate cake with two scoops and grabbed the bride by the pussy -- Trump dispensed mercy today as kings are wont to do.   The biggest names on the list were Rod Blagojevich (abuse of power, corruption) and Bernard Kerik (tax evasion).  I wonder why they caught his eye.  Kerik was once promoted by Rudolph Giuliani to be Secretary of Homeland Security, so I'm sure he's just as qualified now for the Trump cabinet.  Then there was junk-bond impresario Michael Milken, who is good enough friends with Steve Mnuchin to share his plane for a hop to The Coast.  The article says the Treasury Secretary "reimbursed" Milken for the trip, and now we know how.  How's that swampy-drainy thing working out for ya?  Mnuchin calls Milken "beyond remarkable."  If I were Walter Winchell I would now speculate on them being "that-a-way."

Wait -- Stephen Miller married?  Do they plan to...I can't say it.

Superlawyer Alan Dershowitz is closing in on the Professor Moriarty of the Napoleon of Crime, George Soros.  He has the evidence.  He's filing the lawsuit any day now.  Don't turn off your device, you do not want to miss this.  It's yuge.  Don't believe the rumors that lawyers who took his Criminal Procedure class are now denying they went to Harvard Law.

Somebody really hates Puritans.


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