Friday, July 06, 2018

Urgent request

I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don't have a musical instrument. I don't have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we've broken a lot of records. We've broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don't need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.

I will pay one million American dollars to anyone -- anyone -- who can tell me what the hell this means.  It seems to be an address by an unmedicated mental patient to an unfortunate captive audience on a city bus.  In fact, I am told it is an exact transcript of part of a speech by the president* of the United States to a fascinated crowd in Montana.  I know that Elton John is a British singer-songwriter, I know that basketball and hockey are sports.  Please help with the rest.  It might be important.

"This is the only musical:  the mouth."  Good choice, Mr. Putin.


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